The Cat's Pajamas

I've moved!

2008-06-25T12:31:00.000-07:00

Please find me here...

For the Record

2008-06-23T12:44:00.001-07:00

Last night's episode of Army Wives showed a group of men in PT gear jogging on base... running in the grass. That would never happen.

Bliss

2008-06-23T09:58:00.000-07:00

The Husband came home on Friday and life is bliss again. I always feel as if there's something missing from my life when he's away. I try and explain it to The Husband saying, "I don't walk around sad the whole time you're gone! I just don't... talk much." The Husband doesn't get this and looks at me like I'm crazy. Truth be told, I feel like a little piece of my being is missing when he's not home and I don't think of this as a bad thing. It's just the way we are. As corny as that sounds, we've been together for 7 years, married for almost 6 and I couldn't love the man more but somehow, everyday I wake up I do love him more. Bliss.

High School

2008-06-22T06:22:00.000-07:00

Several things in my life lead me to ask this question right now: What is the magical pull some people feel to high school, to those "good old days" when everyone was a walking misery?

My neighbor had her twenty year high school reunion yesterday. For the past three months she's been burning the midnight oil trying to "better" herself. This skinny cow, The Neighbor, has joined Weight Watchers in order to loose weight that no one can see. She's tall and lathe, has four beautiful children and a wonderful husband whom she has been with since they were sixteen. I look at her and see unending beauty. I asked her if she's stayed in contact with her high school friends and she has. She took an early release program her junior and senior year so she spent the last two years of high school checking out at 12:00. I ask, why all the work to impress these people that don't mean anything to your core?

Another friend of mine is desperately trying to "reach" her ex-boyfriend. Why? She even visited the ex's sister the other day and now all she can talk about is how miserable the ex is. The Friend is married, five months pregnant and totally in adoration of her husband. What's so important about reaching your ex? The Friend talks about him frequently these days. The Friend says the ex married an awful woman, has two children and the ex is miserable. Why does The Friend care? For a while I believed that it was just her way of reconnecting to her past, she's pregnant and life is changing rapidly right now, perhaps she's just trying to ground herself and remember where she came from before her life changes in such a dramatic way. Then The Friend starting talking about how controlling the wife is, "She spammed my emails! I emailed him and said if he and the kids were ever in town, call me and we'd hang out!" The Friend said. So wait, you sent your ex an email and blatantly excluded his wife and you're upset because she spammed your emails? I would too. I'm not controlling, I just know the boundaries of my marriage. If it makes your spouse uncomfortable, don't step outside of those lines. I get angry at The Friend because she's trying to make her ex put The Friend in front of his wife. Don't do that. Don't ask another person to step outside of the boundaries of marriage. It all became very clear a few days ago. We were shopping and she, again, was talking about her ex. The Friend said, "You know, I just want him to see how good he had it with me. I want him to see how good I am." So it is about you. You need attention and you're seeking it from someone else's husband. Why can't I say my thoughts out loud? Why can't I warn her that she's treading dangerous ground? I'm afraid that if I say something, The Friend is going to blow up and blame me for figuring out that she's stepping outside of the bounds?

I wasn't "unpopular" in high school. I had a large group of friends, but when I left, I never felt like I needed to look back. I've never felt the pull to those days. Regardless of how many friends I had, those days were misery. Coming of age, making it through adolescence, no thanks. I love who I am now, but I don't feel the need to share it with anyone from my past.

Welcome Home

2008-06-20T06:29:00.000-07:00

The Husband is returning from Parchute Dude training today(early!) I spent yesterday evening lining up Cat 1, Gomer Pyle, and Cat 2, Radar, insisting that there will have to be an end to the romping on the glass coffee table, no more sitting in the dining room chairs with me as I eat, and no more loud talking at 2:00 a.m. they have to find their tooshes back on the floor and keep their yapping to a minimum.

I have a counseling appointment today. I was going to cancel, but I think it's in my best interest to keep the appointment andcheck out from work early. I was never an advocate of counseling, but now that I've started I can't stop. It's amazing what I've learned about myself, the journeys my mind has taken since starting. I'm seeing a counselor at my old church. He's the only tie I have remaining at that church. The Husband and I have stopped going to this church because I don't feel a presence there. I'm still looking, but looking for a church in this very liberal town is turning out to be very challenging.

PCSing

2008-06-18T08:52:00.000-07:00

Friend: "Ugh. I still have unpacked boxes."
Me: "Girl! What's taking you so long? You've been there 10 days already! I'll drive down this weekend and help, okay?"
Friend: "You realize that's not going to make me unpack any faster, right?"
Me: "Yeah, but the margaritas will sure make everything better!"

I have plans for the weekend! A true military wife knows not to sit on her thumbs at home the day before The Husband comes home.

The Military Wife

2008-06-17T06:32:00.000-07:00

The Military Wife Author Unknown

The good Lord was creating a model for military wives and was into his sixth day of overtime when an angel appeared. She said, “Lord, you seem to be having a lot of trouble with this one. What’s wrong with the standard model?”

The Lord replied, “Have you seen the specs on this order? She has to be completely independent, possess the qualities of both father and mother, be a perfect hostess to four or 40 with an hour’s notice, run on black coffee, handle every emergency imaginable without a manual, be able to carry on cheerfully, even if she is pregnant and has the flu, and she must be willing to move to a new location 10 times in 17 years. And oh, yes, she must have six pairs of hands.”

The angel shook her head. “Six pairs of hands? No way.”

The Lord continued, “Don’t worry, we will make other military wives to help her. And we will give her an unusually strong heart so it can swell with pride in her husband’s achievements, sustain the pain of separations, beat soundly when it is overworked and tired, and be large enough to say, ‘I understand,’ when she doesn’t, and say ‘I love you,’ regardless.”

“Lord,” said the angel, touching his arm gently, “Go to bed and get some rest. You can finish this tomorrow.”

“I can’t stop now,” said the Lord. “I am so close to creating something unique. Already this model heals herself when she is sick, can put up six unexpected guests for the weekend, wave good-bye to her husband from a pier, a runway or a depot, and understand why it’s important that he leave.”

The angel circled the model of the military wife, looked at it closely and sighed, “It looks fine, but it’s too soft.”

“She might look soft,” replied the Lord,” but she has the strength of a lion. You would not believe what she can endure.”

Finally, the angel bent over and ran her finger across the cheek of the Lord’s creation. “There’s a leak,” she announced. “Something is wrong with the construction. I am not surprised that it has cracked. You are trying to put too much into this model.”

The Lord appeared offended at the angel’s lack of confidence. “What you see is not a leak,” he said. “It’s a tear.”

“A tear? What is it there for?” asked the angel.

The Lord replied, “It’s for joy, sadness, pain, disappointment, loneliness, pride and a dedication to all the values that she and her husband hold dear.”

“You are a genius!” exclaimed the angel.

The Lord looked puzzled and replied, “I didn’t put it there.”

Why Civilian Families Sometimes Just.Don't.Get.It.

2008-06-16T11:32:00.000-07:00

I think I'm sensative to this right now because I had a long conversation with one of my civilian friends this weekend about the differences in civilian/military friendships. Before I begin, I should make it clear that I think civilian friendships are a very important part of life as a milspouse. This weekend I was explaining to my civilian friend how excited I was that one of my old friends from Pope AFB/Ft. Bragg has been assigned to Ft. Riley and I can't wait to see her. She's an hour away! My civilian friend was wondering why military spouse friendships are "different" than those with civilians. After much "uh... well... ah..." this is how I explained it: A civilian hears a knock on their door when their husband is at work and they don't think anything of it. A military spouse hears a knock on their door while their spouse is "at work" and their pulse quickens, sweat peaks out of their hairline and they take a deep breath and open the door. A civilian wife is upset with her husband for spending $75 on a new video game and argues about it explaining that the $75 could have been put to better use, etc. A military spouse sees that her husband has spent $75 on a video game and she thinks, "there's repreive for my love at the end of the day. $75 is a small price to pay. Besides, it's not worth the argument." This friend that recently moved to Ft. Riley had undergone extensive treatments trying to get pregnant while stationed at Ft. Bragg. When they PCSed to Georgia a few years ago, they gave up the fight and stopped treatments. She called me early one morning and said, "You're going to the bathroom with me." "Great. Good morning to you too." "Guess what I doing" she said. "Uh... peeing?" "Yeah, but I have something with me" she further explains. "Really? What is it?" "Guess!" she teases. "Uh... don't know." "A pregnancy test! I didn't get my period this month!" she exclaims. So she was with child and she was talking to me when she found out. That's a military wife. Don't get your husband excited until you know for sure. Don't give him any reason to be distracted from his duties in the day. A civilian wife would not likely call her friend to share the anticipation with. I explained further to my civilian friend; military families move about every three years. We plunge ourselves into our next duty station, eager to meet the women of the squadron and immerse ourselves in community activities. We start "living" in our new home within a week. Civilian families can move accross the country away from their families and have to start over, but they rarely form the bonds that make their neighbors and community members "family". I explained that as a military spouse, you forge friendships with other women that are almost an extension of your own body. The friendships you make as a military spouse are more than mere friendships, these women become your family.

Since PCSing to Kansas I have taken a position with a company with 100% civilian employees. This is quite unusual for a milspouse. We're usually working beside at least one other milspouse if not mulitiple military family members to include retired/seperated military servicemembers themselves. I actually found employment with a group of nine other people with no military affiliation at all. This makes me subject to great scrutiny. People are curious as to how we live. They have questions that they feel since they are so "close to you" they should be allowed to ask. The Husband is away learning to be a Parachute Dude right now. He left a few weeks ago and will return this weekend. Of course, the woman I share an office with is ever so curious if not a bit spiteful. She asks me today, "How's The Husband?" "Oh, he's doing great! The Husband is crazy, but he's having a wonderful time. He had two perfect jumps on Friday!" "That sounds great, I'm sure he's having fun" she says. "Yeah, he's certainly enjoying himself." She continues, "When I was younger I had a friend who wanted to learn how to parachute. So she went up and learned all there was to learn, jumped out of the plane... but she didn't have a perfect landing. She died. At eighteen years of age." Shit. I know she wasn't trying to upset me and honestly, I took it with a grain of salt and rolled my eyes behind my computer monitor. I guess when you aren't confronted with military families everyday, you don't realize that there are certain things you just. don't. say.

Something to add to the conversation with my civilian friend about the difference of military friendships and civilian friendships. Military wives know when to keep their mouth shut.

The Cat's Pajamas

2008-06-15T07:21:00.000-07:00

The Mother-In-Law's description of me for my husband...

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=cats+pajamas

I think I like it... it just might stick.

The Women We Love

2008-06-13T07:48:00.000-07:00

One of The Husband's and my first dates was to my brother and sister-in-law's wedding. I'll never forget dancing with The (not quite) Husband in his Air Force dress blues, he looked down at me and said, "you aren't going to be this crazy at our wedding are you?" That was five days after The Husband and I met.

Of course, The Sister-In-Law and I have had our moments. No baby sister wants to look at her brother giving all of his love and affection to another woman. Who's going to take care of me now? Regardless, I used to fight my brother screaming, "Treat her better you asshole! You're going to loose her if you don't stop acting like such a jerk!" She became my rock. I'm grateful that my brother married a woman who is probably one of my best friends on this earth. She's a Marine's wife and has her own set of worries, yet when I hear her voice on the other end of the line I can feel her smile and my world begins to relax. I often get family pictures in the mail and I think: 'wow, The Brother and I don't look anything alike' and then, 'my God, she's beautiful. The Sister-In-Law should be on the cover of a magazine.' I recently realized that her beauty doesn't just come from outward appearances. I look into her eyes and I see a beautiful soul shining out from a camoflauge of aqua marine blue. She is a woman who will love me no matter what I do, she'll smile that gorgeous smile of hers and tell me everything is going to be okay. She has the patience of Mother Theresa which is evident in the mild (but incredibly adorable) temperment of my nephew. The Sister-In-Law and The Nephew are those mom/son combos you see at Target with the child asking ever so politely, "Mom? May I please have a new toy car? It needs a home and I'd be ever so grateful to give it one." HUH? The Nephew is (almost) four years old, but he's so sweet and grown up, he behaves as if he's forty, not four.

The Sister-In-Law is my rock. She grounds me. She took The Brother, just a boy and made him a man. The Sister-In-Law is a woman who demands respect. A woman of faith, stature and a pillar of strength. The Sister-In-Law told me the other day as we were driving through the Country Club Plaza that she admired my strength... huh? I'm a mess and this woman who I admire without fail is telling me she's proud of me. Wow. Mark this day down for one of those breathless moments in time.

When a Song Touches

2008-06-12T13:38:00.001-07:00

I love this song right now. I could listen to it 50 times a day. Although, it does make me a little sad.
http://www.cmt.com/videos/jimmy-wayne/232975/do-you-believe-me-now.jhtml

Milk and Honey

2008-06-12T07:44:00.000-07:00

Today I drank a glass of 1% milk for breakfast. Just a glass of milk. No cereal, no yogurt, no granola. Just a glass of milk. I wonder if I'm starting to starve myself. I've been walking about 4 1/4 miles everyday with my neighbor. We've been doing this consistently for about a month and I can still feel my pants making red marks in my stomach where I have permanent rolls created by my fat being too much for my pants to contain. I think myself thin. Then I get discouraged. The saddest part? I know I'm truly beautiful inside and out. I keep hearing this radio commercial for a weight loss something-or-other and the woman says "I'm embarrassed when my husband introduces me to coworkers." Yeah. I'm embarrassed too. The Husband doesn't even introduce his wife though. The Husband and I can run into someone he knows and I don't exist. He doesn't even bother with introductions, he has a conversation with the person and we walk away. I don't think The husband realizes what this does to my self-esteem. I've brought it up in conversation before, in my own passive agressive way, "So glad I got to meet.... oh, I didn't catch the name, huh. OH! That's right, because you didn't introduce us." The husband swears it's because he doesn't find these other people "important enough" to introduce his wife to. Perhaps I'm the one that's unimportant.

UPDATE: Drinking only milk for breakfast = recipe for really bad breath.

Where do you start?

2008-06-12T07:12:00.000-07:00

I have so many things to say, but words fail me today. I live in the midwest and it's mid-June, 2008. My husband is off doing "Military Things" while I hold down the homefront. I need an outlet. Somewhere I can go and spill my heart without my friends looking at me like I'm crazy and say I'm overreacting. Hopefully, this will be my outlet. My dumping ground. It's hard to stand up and "be strong" when all I want is to crawl into my husband's arms and feel strength and security. Will I ever feel that again?