Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Monday, June 23, 2008
For the Record
Last night's episode of Army Wives showed a group of men in PT gear jogging on base... running in the grass. That would never happen.
Bliss
The Husband came home on Friday and life is bliss again. I always feel as if there's something missing from my life when he's away. I try and explain it to The Husband saying, "I don't walk around sad the whole time you're gone! I just don't... talk much." The Husband doesn't get this and looks at me like I'm crazy. Truth be told, I feel like a little piece of my being is missing when he's not home and I don't think of this as a bad thing. It's just the way we are. As corny as that sounds, we've been together for 7 years, married for almost 6 and I couldn't love the man more but somehow, everyday I wake up I do love him more. Bliss.
Sunday, June 22, 2008
High School
Several things in my life lead me to ask this question right now: What is the magical pull some people feel to high school, to those "good old days" when everyone was a walking misery?
My neighbor had her twenty year high school reunion yesterday. For the past three months she's been burning the midnight oil trying to "better" herself. This skinny cow, The Neighbor, has joined Weight Watchers in order to loose weight that no one can see. She's tall and lathe, has four beautiful children and a wonderful husband whom she has been with since they were sixteen. I look at her and see unending beauty. I asked her if she's stayed in contact with her high school friends and she has. She took an early release program her junior and senior year so she spent the last two years of high school checking out at 12:00. I ask, why all the work to impress these people that don't mean anything to your core?
Another friend of mine is desperately trying to "reach" her ex-boyfriend. Why? She even visited the ex's sister the other day and now all she can talk about is how miserable the ex is. The Friend is married, five months pregnant and totally in adoration of her husband. What's so important about reaching your ex? The Friend talks about him frequently these days. The Friend says the ex married an awful woman, has two children and the ex is miserable. Why does The Friend care? For a while I believed that it was just her way of reconnecting to her past, she's pregnant and life is changing rapidly right now, perhaps she's just trying to ground herself and remember where she came from before her life changes in such a dramatic way. Then The Friend starting talking about how controlling the wife is, "She spammed my emails! I emailed him and said if he and the kids were ever in town, call me and we'd hang out!" The Friend said. So wait, you sent your ex an email and blatantly excluded his wife and you're upset because she spammed your emails? I would too. I'm not controlling, I just know the boundaries of my marriage. If it makes your spouse uncomfortable, don't step outside of those lines. I get angry at The Friend because she's trying to make her ex put The Friend in front of his wife. Don't do that. Don't ask another person to step outside of the boundaries of marriage. It all became very clear a few days ago. We were shopping and she, again, was talking about her ex. The Friend said, "You know, I just want him to see how good he had it with me. I want him to see how good I am." So it is about you. You need attention and you're seeking it from someone else's husband. Why can't I say my thoughts out loud? Why can't I warn her that she's treading dangerous ground? I'm afraid that if I say something, The Friend is going to blow up and blame me for figuring out that she's stepping outside of the bounds?
I wasn't "unpopular" in high school. I had a large group of friends, but when I left, I never felt like I needed to look back. I've never felt the pull to those days. Regardless of how many friends I had, those days were misery. Coming of age, making it through adolescence, no thanks. I love who I am now, but I don't feel the need to share it with anyone from my past.
My neighbor had her twenty year high school reunion yesterday. For the past three months she's been burning the midnight oil trying to "better" herself. This skinny cow, The Neighbor, has joined Weight Watchers in order to loose weight that no one can see. She's tall and lathe, has four beautiful children and a wonderful husband whom she has been with since they were sixteen. I look at her and see unending beauty. I asked her if she's stayed in contact with her high school friends and she has. She took an early release program her junior and senior year so she spent the last two years of high school checking out at 12:00. I ask, why all the work to impress these people that don't mean anything to your core?
Another friend of mine is desperately trying to "reach" her ex-boyfriend. Why? She even visited the ex's sister the other day and now all she can talk about is how miserable the ex is. The Friend is married, five months pregnant and totally in adoration of her husband. What's so important about reaching your ex? The Friend talks about him frequently these days. The Friend says the ex married an awful woman, has two children and the ex is miserable. Why does The Friend care? For a while I believed that it was just her way of reconnecting to her past, she's pregnant and life is changing rapidly right now, perhaps she's just trying to ground herself and remember where she came from before her life changes in such a dramatic way. Then The Friend starting talking about how controlling the wife is, "She spammed my emails! I emailed him and said if he and the kids were ever in town, call me and we'd hang out!" The Friend said. So wait, you sent your ex an email and blatantly excluded his wife and you're upset because she spammed your emails? I would too. I'm not controlling, I just know the boundaries of my marriage. If it makes your spouse uncomfortable, don't step outside of those lines. I get angry at The Friend because she's trying to make her ex put The Friend in front of his wife. Don't do that. Don't ask another person to step outside of the boundaries of marriage. It all became very clear a few days ago. We were shopping and she, again, was talking about her ex. The Friend said, "You know, I just want him to see how good he had it with me. I want him to see how good I am." So it is about you. You need attention and you're seeking it from someone else's husband. Why can't I say my thoughts out loud? Why can't I warn her that she's treading dangerous ground? I'm afraid that if I say something, The Friend is going to blow up and blame me for figuring out that she's stepping outside of the bounds?
I wasn't "unpopular" in high school. I had a large group of friends, but when I left, I never felt like I needed to look back. I've never felt the pull to those days. Regardless of how many friends I had, those days were misery. Coming of age, making it through adolescence, no thanks. I love who I am now, but I don't feel the need to share it with anyone from my past.
Friday, June 20, 2008
Welcome Home
The Husband is returning from Parchute Dude training today(early!) I spent yesterday evening lining up Cat 1, Gomer Pyle, and Cat 2, Radar, insisting that there will have to be an end to the romping on the glass coffee table, no more sitting in the dining room chairs with me as I eat, and no more loud talking at 2:00 a.m. they have to find their tooshes back on the floor and keep their yapping to a minimum.
I have a counseling appointment today. I was going to cancel, but I think it's in my best interest to keep the appointment andcheck out from work early. I was never an advocate of counseling, but now that I've started I can't stop. It's amazing what I've learned about myself, the journeys my mind has taken since starting. I'm seeing a counselor at my old church. He's the only tie I have remaining at that church. The Husband and I have stopped going to this church because I don't feel a presence there. I'm still looking, but looking for a church in this very liberal town is turning out to be very challenging.
I have a counseling appointment today. I was going to cancel, but I think it's in my best interest to keep the appointment andcheck out from work early. I was never an advocate of counseling, but now that I've started I can't stop. It's amazing what I've learned about myself, the journeys my mind has taken since starting. I'm seeing a counselor at my old church. He's the only tie I have remaining at that church. The Husband and I have stopped going to this church because I don't feel a presence there. I'm still looking, but looking for a church in this very liberal town is turning out to be very challenging.
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
PCSing
Friend: "Ugh. I still have unpacked boxes."
Me: "Girl! What's taking you so long? You've been there 10 days already! I'll drive down this weekend and help, okay?"
Friend: "You realize that's not going to make me unpack any faster, right?"
Me: "Yeah, but the margaritas will sure make everything better!"
I have plans for the weekend! A true military wife knows not to sit on her thumbs at home the day before The Husband comes home.
Me: "Girl! What's taking you so long? You've been there 10 days already! I'll drive down this weekend and help, okay?"
Friend: "You realize that's not going to make me unpack any faster, right?"
Me: "Yeah, but the margaritas will sure make everything better!"
I have plans for the weekend! A true military wife knows not to sit on her thumbs at home the day before The Husband comes home.
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
The Military Wife
The Military Wife Author Unknown
The good Lord was creating a model for military wives and was into his sixth day of overtime when an angel appeared. She said, “Lord, you seem to be having a lot of trouble with this one. What’s wrong with the standard model?”
The Lord replied, “Have you seen the specs on this order? She has to be completely independent, possess the qualities of both father and mother, be a perfect hostess to four or 40 with an hour’s notice, run on black coffee, handle every emergency imaginable without a manual, be able to carry on cheerfully, even if she is pregnant and has the flu, and she must be willing to move to a new location 10 times in 17 years. And oh, yes, she must have six pairs of hands.”
The angel shook her head. “Six pairs of hands? No way.”
The Lord continued, “Don’t worry, we will make other military wives to help her. And we will give her an unusually strong heart so it can swell with pride in her husband’s achievements, sustain the pain of separations, beat soundly when it is overworked and tired, and be large enough to say, ‘I understand,’ when she doesn’t, and say ‘I love you,’ regardless.”
“Lord,” said the angel, touching his arm gently, “Go to bed and get some rest. You can finish this tomorrow.”
“I can’t stop now,” said the Lord. “I am so close to creating something unique. Already this model heals herself when she is sick, can put up six unexpected guests for the weekend, wave good-bye to her husband from a pier, a runway or a depot, and understand why it’s important that he leave.”
The angel circled the model of the military wife, looked at it closely and sighed, “It looks fine, but it’s too soft.”
“She might look soft,” replied the Lord,” but she has the strength of a lion. You would not believe what she can endure.”
Finally, the angel bent over and ran her finger across the cheek of the Lord’s creation. “There’s a leak,” she announced. “Something is wrong with the construction. I am not surprised that it has cracked. You are trying to put too much into this model.”
The Lord appeared offended at the angel’s lack of confidence. “What you see is not a leak,” he said. “It’s a tear.”
“A tear? What is it there for?” asked the angel.
The Lord replied, “It’s for joy, sadness, pain, disappointment, loneliness, pride and a dedication to all the values that she and her husband hold dear.”
“You are a genius!” exclaimed the angel.
The Lord looked puzzled and replied, “I didn’t put it there.”
The good Lord was creating a model for military wives and was into his sixth day of overtime when an angel appeared. She said, “Lord, you seem to be having a lot of trouble with this one. What’s wrong with the standard model?”
The Lord replied, “Have you seen the specs on this order? She has to be completely independent, possess the qualities of both father and mother, be a perfect hostess to four or 40 with an hour’s notice, run on black coffee, handle every emergency imaginable without a manual, be able to carry on cheerfully, even if she is pregnant and has the flu, and she must be willing to move to a new location 10 times in 17 years. And oh, yes, she must have six pairs of hands.”
The angel shook her head. “Six pairs of hands? No way.”
The Lord continued, “Don’t worry, we will make other military wives to help her. And we will give her an unusually strong heart so it can swell with pride in her husband’s achievements, sustain the pain of separations, beat soundly when it is overworked and tired, and be large enough to say, ‘I understand,’ when she doesn’t, and say ‘I love you,’ regardless.”
“Lord,” said the angel, touching his arm gently, “Go to bed and get some rest. You can finish this tomorrow.”
“I can’t stop now,” said the Lord. “I am so close to creating something unique. Already this model heals herself when she is sick, can put up six unexpected guests for the weekend, wave good-bye to her husband from a pier, a runway or a depot, and understand why it’s important that he leave.”
The angel circled the model of the military wife, looked at it closely and sighed, “It looks fine, but it’s too soft.”
“She might look soft,” replied the Lord,” but she has the strength of a lion. You would not believe what she can endure.”
Finally, the angel bent over and ran her finger across the cheek of the Lord’s creation. “There’s a leak,” she announced. “Something is wrong with the construction. I am not surprised that it has cracked. You are trying to put too much into this model.”
The Lord appeared offended at the angel’s lack of confidence. “What you see is not a leak,” he said. “It’s a tear.”
“A tear? What is it there for?” asked the angel.
The Lord replied, “It’s for joy, sadness, pain, disappointment, loneliness, pride and a dedication to all the values that she and her husband hold dear.”
“You are a genius!” exclaimed the angel.
The Lord looked puzzled and replied, “I didn’t put it there.”
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